But if he doesn't have an urge to figure out and then achieve his goals, his lack of motivation could easily torpedo the relationship.
Petulance is not a good look when you're trying to work through relationship issues. Totally cool if you join him in a post-orgasm nap because you had one before he did.
A friend once told me he purposefully hung onto his cruddy black futon because he figured it would broadcast the "I'm not an adult who is ready for a committed relationship" message on his behalf.
Seeing your ex post-breakup at 21: You tense up in the dining hall and while crossing the campus lawn, but at least your dorm room is a safe space.
There are some people who are important to date even if you never end up together.
Condoms at 16: You’re worried you’ll forever associate them with spotty bananas and your unenthused health teacher.
Condoms at 21: You grab a handful from the plastic bowl outside your RA’s room the moment your crush texts you back. Seeing your ex post-breakup at 16: You’ve hatched an elaborate hallway escape route but still bump into them twice a day. Your dating at 21: Still LOL, but at least you don't have to deal with prom stress or your dad "checking in" on you in the basement.